Infidelity Can Be A Couple’s Worst Nightmare
While relationships can sometimes be difficult to manage, infidelity shatters trust in even the most strongest of relationships. Karan Johar film Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna (Never Say Goodbye, 2006) and Chris Columbus film Stepmom (1998) deal with this topic in a very sensitive manner as do other various popular culture renditions, showing how prevalent the matter is to modern relationships.
Michele Weiner-Davis, author of The Sex-Starved Marriage tells WebMD, “Nothing rocks a person's sense of self, trust, and marriage more than infidelity. Infidelity leaves people questioning their sanity, as well as everything they believe to be true about their spouse, and about the viability of their marriage. Infidelity is crippling.”
Here are some ways to cope with the heartbreak that comes from infidelity.
It’s Okay To Feel Hurt
Affairs can be traumatizing, releasing feelings of betrayal, anger, and hurt. It is difficult, especially when the partner whom you have trusted for a certain period of time, has betrayed that trust. However, by recognizing and accepting your hurt, the healing process will be easier. You may have feelings of negativity, and have difficulties trusting in the future: be authentic to yourself and your partner especially about expressing these feelings. Anita Yok Sim Ho from says, “Feel and dive into the pain without denial of its presence. It won't go away if you constantly shove it aside.”
Forgive
Forgiveness is the key to being able to move on from all the hurt that has been caused in the relationship. If you continue to hold on to hurt, and are unable to forgive, it will hinder you, and not just from moving on in living a fulfilling life. You will also have trouble trusting people who are actually trustworthy and genuine.
Setting Goals Is Key to Moving On
Setting goals is important, especially after a breakup of any kind. If you have a clear-cut picture of what you aspire for – your hopes and dreams – you will be able to focus your energies in moving on.
Learn to express emotions
Deal with the anger constructively, without harming yourself or others. Find a support system with a trusted friend or professional who can give you the space to just be with your feelings.
Seek counseling
Don't try to get through coping with unfaithfulness alone. However, don't shout from the highest mountain to all you know that your spouse is an unfaithful jerk. Pick with care who you will share this information with. Knowing the type of infidelity sometimes makes understanding it easier and counseling can help get answers to questions. Was it a one-night stand or an affair? Due to a mid-life or life crisis? A sexual addiction or an act of retaliation? Did the cheating occur to end the marriage?
Do you believe infidelity can rock a person's sense of self? Leave us your comments below.
Feature Image Courtesy: tipsofdivorce
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