Lifestyle / The Ripple Effect: Why We Need To Pay Attention To Our Thoughts

The Ripple Effect: Why We Need To Pay Attention To Our Thoughts

Lifestyle May 19, 2021

by Dr. Monica Vermani

Our thoughts have weighed heavily on us especially during this unprecedented times. Dr. Monica Vermani C. Psych, Clinical Psychologist shares with us her insights on the value of our thoughts and how we should pay attention to them, be they be positive or otherwise.

Dr. Monica Vermani is a Clinical Psychologist specializing in treating trauma, stress and mood & anxiety disorders, and the founder of Start Living Corporate Wellness. She is a well-known speaker and author on mental health and wellness. Her upcoming book, A Deeper Wellness, is scheduled for publication in 2021. Please visit: www.drmonicavermani.com.

Dr. Vermani has recently launched an exciting online self-help program, A Deeper Wellness, delivering powerful mental health guidance, life skills, and knowledge that employees can access anywhere, anytime at www.adeeperwellness.com.

We’ve heard it time and time again! Our thoughts matter. With a dramatic increase in a sense of isolation, anxiety, and fear as the lingering effects of COVID-19 continue to take their toll on our mental health, more than ever, our thoughts matter. Let’s look at the upside and downside of positive thinking, and why and how our thoughts matter and play out.

**The Ripple Effect: Why We Need To Pay Attention To Our Thoughts: This year has been challenging to say the least, especially when it comes to monitoring our own thoughts.** Photo Credit: Dollar Gill via www.unsplash.com

We’ve all heard the phrases extolling the benefits of positive thinking. ‘It’s the thought that counts.’ ‘What you focus on expands.’ ‘Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.’ We’ve been inundated with self-help titles that espouse the power of thinking positive thoughts, from classic titles like Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking and Dale Carnegie’s How To Stop Worrying and Start Living, to The Secret’s positive manifestation instruments, including its vision boards, and numerous more recent titles, all of which expound on the virtues of positive thinking and reinforce the message that it’s our thoughts that counts.

Lately, we’ve started hearing the term toxic positivity, and discussions about the downside of positive thinking. The discourse around toxic positivity explores the folly of glossing over negative events, feelings, worries, and concerns with platitudes that fail to address the depths of pain, fears, and anxieties that are on the rise since COVID-19 has impacted the lives of people around the world. In short, calling out those who dismiss and negating real feelings and concerns with advice to “look on the bright side,” or chastising people for feeling anxious, isolated, or lost during COVID, exposes the negating effect of insensitivity to others who are in pain.

Non-toxic Positivity

It is important to empathize with friends and family who share the burden of their suffering and to show compassion, rather than minimize or negate their suffering. We are not here to tell others how to think and feel. It’s our job to take control of our thoughts and show kindness and empathy when people we love, and listen to and validate their feelings. Non-toxic positivity is showing up for others at your strongest and best, not to lecture or dismiss the concerns of others, but to help others carry their burden in times of trouble and self-doubt.

Here’s Why Our Thoughts Count

More than ever — especially in these difficult times of COVID — it’s our thoughts that can sustain us. More than ever, our thoughts matter. We are designed to hold just one thought at a time — not two contradictory ones. When the thought that we hold onto fills us with fear or adds fuel to the flames of self-doubt rather than courage, we’re in for a rough ride. Self-doubt leads us into low moods, feeling lesser than, and a loss of faith and confidence in our ability to handle what life brings. We then make choices that play out in the world based on our fears rather than what serves our authentic selves.

How Our Thoughts Play Out?

Drop a pebble in still water, and watch how it impacts the surface of the water as it moves out in expanding concentric circles. Our thoughts, moods and actions play out this same way.

At one time or another, we have all felt the heaviness of someone in a negative state of mind walking into a room… from an angry parent or teacher, or a friend or colleague in a downbeat frame of mind. Likewise, we have felt the energy shift when someone in a positive state of mind enters a room and the mood lightens. Our thoughts have a ripple effect because they lead to our moods and behaviors. And our moods and behaviors, in turn, affect those around us. When we can take control of our thoughts, we also begin to shift and change our moods, behaviors, and the people in our lives.

When We Have A Choice

When it comes to our thoughts, we have a choice. We can choose to reframe negative thinking by challenging the truth of our negative thoughts. For example, is that negative thought you have about online shopping a result of an isolated incident, or a long list of negative transactions? Is your anxiety around socializing based on a series of bad experiences that verifies your trepidation, or are you imagining and forecasting negative encounters and unpleasant outcomes? Does your self-doubt prevent you from seeking a better job, a new career opportunity, a healthier relationship? When our negative thoughts lead to choices that diminish us, we have a choice.

We can choose to think about the way we think about our lives and ourselves! We can choose to challenge the truth about our negative thoughts and replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. We can go for that promotion, take a leap of faith that leads us into a more rewarding career or relationship.

Ourselves, Our World, Our Future

To a very large extent, we are what we think. If we think we can handle whatever comes our way, we move through the world with a sense of confidence, rather than dread and trepidation. When we realize the power of how we think about ourselves and the world around us, we can begin to take control. The past is in the past, and the future is just our imagination. We can pay attention to our thoughts, examine the veracity of our negative thoughts, and move out into the world — and the future — in a positive state of mind, at our authentically highest and best.

Dr. Vermani’s Tips: Pay Attention To Your Thoughts

Remember that the future is just our imagination, so why not imagine good things coming our way.

Stay connected to your authentic feelings. Don’t dismiss negative thoughts and feelings. Address them!

Notice the effect you have on others — both positive and negative.

Realize that you can take control of your thoughts, and choose to examine the truth of negative thoughts and replace thoughts that do not support you at your highest and best.

Main Image Photo Credit: www.unsplash.com

Dr. Monica Vermani

Author

Dr. Monica Vermani is a Clinical Psychologist who specializes in treating trauma, stress, mood & anxiety disorders and is the founder of Start Living Corporate Wellness. Her book, A Deeper Wellness, is coming out in 2021. www.drmonicavermani.com

COMMENTS

My Takeaway Treat With Madhu's New 2 Go Option In Knightsbridge, London

Put The Cookie Down! Recharge With These Recipes For Healthy Desi-Inspired Power Snacks

These Recipes Will Give Your Boring Salad A South Asian Kick

My Takeaway Treat From Spice Rack Lounge In North West London

This Delish Ramadan Charcuterie Board Is The Perfect Addition To Iftar

South Asian Heritage Month 2021: Get Lit With These 8 Trending Novels By Desi Authors

Give From Your Overflow … Not From Your Well! Tips On How To Help More Efficiently

4 Hot Tech Gadgets That Are Out This May 2021

OMG! Gulab Jamun Pancakes & Other Brilliant Brunch Recipes

Feeling, Healing & Growth: Tips On How To Navigate Your Negative Emotions

Enjoy The Sunshine With These Fresh Drink Recipes That Have A Desi Twist

Meditate With Deepak Chopra & Alicia Keys Plus 4 Other Mindful Ways To Unplug & Relax Anywhere

South Asian Heritage Month 2021: 8 Desi Books That Will Create Teachable Moments For The Young Minds In Your Life

Dine In Posh Pods At Ponsbourne Hotel Near Central London

Part One: What Goes Up Must Come Down — Understanding & Navigating The Cycle Of Panic

Part Two: What Goes Up Must Come Down: Conquering The Cycle Of Panic

South Asian Heritage Month 2021: #Reclaimingmyname — We Need To Stop Mispronouncing Our Name For The Benefit Of Others

PRIDE 2021 SPECIAL: 10 LGBTQ+ Voices That We Need To Listen To

Let It Out Because These Are The Reasons Why Crying Is Good For You

4 Hot Tech Gadgets That Are Out This June 2021

This Is Why Malala Won't Marry Your Son

PRIDE 2021 Special: Let Me Tell You My Trans Journey From Female To Male & How That Has Affected My Desi Family

Check Out These Father's Day Recipes That Any Desi Dad Will Love!

A Mindful Guide To Understanding The Grieving Process

It's Important To Understand The Power of Saying "No"

These Are The 7 Ways You Can Get A Good Night's Sleep

Cumin Crusted Chicken & More: These Recipes Will Bring Our Favourite Spices To Life

These Are The Reasons Why It's Important To Balance Grief & Gratitude

4 Hot Tech Gadgets That Are Out This July 2021

Pride Is A Lifestyle, Not A Month: Mango Lassi On His Life As An ‘Openly Queer, Femme Man'

The Ripple Effect: Why We Need To Pay Attention To Our Thoughts

by Dr. Monica Vermani

Dr. Monica Vermani

COMMENTS

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE