Culture & Lifestyle / How To Forgive Yourself

How To Forgive Yourself

Culture & Lifestyle Dec 10, 2013

The key: realizing forgiveness is an important step when you're trying to move forward to fulfill your life goals. 

Processing emotions through forgiveness is not only empowering, it can help you become a stronger person too. In order to completely forgive yourself of the bad decisions, choices and actions you believe you have made, try to work through some of these critical stages below:

1. Overcome shame

Shame can be stifling and is noted as one of the greatest barriers to forgiving oneself. Chapter 3 of Dr. Brene Brown’s book, titled 'Daring Greatly', discusses the process of understanding and combating shame.  Simply put, if you attach your self-worth to the errors or your life experiences or mistakes, shame has won over, causing you a barrier to living your true life.  

2. Talk to your trusted circle of friends

It might seem difficult to confide in someone, especially when you believe your shamed, but try to get out of your comfort zone and reach out to someone that you really trust. This is an important step to provide perspective and objectivity in your life. Note: make sure the individual is someone who can look at your situation objectively.

Whether it is one trusted friend or a circle of friends, a support network is essential. 

3. Follow peace with action

Only when you act out on your forgiveness does it truly feel real.  So if you hurt a friend or loved one, attempt to apologize and acknowledge their pain that was caused by your mistakes. 

If you broke trust with someone you cared about, start building trust again with actions, even volunteer your services where applicable. As the saying goes: actions speak louder than words.

4. Ignore what others think

It is easy for others to criticize the one who made the mistake and gossip about why they did what they did. To live your life to its fullest and overcome the trials and tribulations you were meant to face, you cannot be concerned about your critics because you have suddenly become the new point of interest and conversation. Remember, tomorrow is another day, fresh with no mistakes in it. 

Quote from Dr. Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly, states part of Theodore Roosevelt’s speech, (which is also referred to as 'The Man in the Arena.):
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumble, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly….”

The above stages for forgiving yourself are critical to living your life to its fullest, hence your divine purpose here on earth. I encourage you to strive through this phase in your life because the gift of forgiving yourself allows for possitivity and a constructive path forward to a meaningful existence.

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Yvonne Sinniah

Yvonne Sinniah


Yvonne Sinniah (@YvonneSinniah) is a Relations Advisor and inspirational speaker focusing on helping individuals achieve success in personal and professional environments.  focusing on helping individuals achieve success in personal and professional environments.  She is on a mission to meet a nee...


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