Entertainment / The Perfect Breakup Text & More In Our Chat With Author Sonya Singh

The Perfect Breakup Text & More In Our Chat With Author Sonya Singh

Entertainment Apr 06, 2022

by Hina P. Ansari

Former entertainment reporter and communications professional, Sonya Singh always wanted to tell a story her way. She decided to make that dream happen and launched her debut novel Sari, Not Sari (Also called The Breakup Expert in the UK). In an exclusive interview Sonya shares with me why she decided to dive into the world of novels, her biggest challenges and why she is an expert at the art of breaking up.

Hina P. Ansari: Congrats Sonya on your debut! What motivated you to write Sari, Not Sari?

Sonya Singh: There were so many reasons, but mainly I was ready to see a South Asian female in a very non-traditional career in the pages I was reading. I wanted to pick up a book that had humour and moments of reflection, and that was as fast-paced as one of my favourite Bollywood movies. You know, the kind where you see someone across the room and a week later you’re married to them. Now that is love!

I also wanted to write a book where the reader could say, YES, THESE INDIAN EXPERIENCES ARE AUTHENTIC – which was not what was reading or seeing much of.

HPA: Tell me about this book?

SS: My debut rom-com centres around a South Asian woman who happens to own a Breakup Agency (yes, she helps people break up for a living!). And why wouldn’t she? It’s 2022 and relationships move at such a quick pace and there is so often little closure when they end – we all could use a Breakup Agency! My protagonist finds herself on a journey to learn more about her Indian roots. She has a lot of questions and not enough answers, but those answers may be available by way of a client whom she ends up striking an interesting deal with – so both of them can benefit from what each other needs in their life at that moment. It’s chock-full of laugh-out-loud moments with a lot of Masala is sprinkled between the pages.

HPA What was your writing process? Early in the am, middle of the day or end of day?

SS: I spent a few days at my cottage where I just wrote non-stop and walked away with over 30,000 words. I knew I had a story to tell and I knew I needed to tell it now. I worked with my editors at Simon & Schuster to flesh out the story, and I found a time when I could. I run a PR agency full-time. I’m a friend, sister, partner…. but it was time to prioritize being a writer. So, many people didn’t see me for a while, and that’s because any free time I had went to this book.

HPA: With this being your debut novel, was the writing process what you thought it would be?

SS: It was everything I imagined it to be. I am fortunate; I had some kind helping hands — women who championed me, from my agent to my editor, which is what you need as a debut and as a creative. I am one of those artists who can question my worth, and I need people around me to remind me it is actually really GREAT work.

HPA: Looking back, is there anything in that process that you would change?

SS: I would have started writing in my 20’s. I was intimidated to write as a South Asian woman, particularly to pursue writing as a career. If I could go back, it’s the only thing I would change. But then again, maybe I needed a few more life experiences to be able to write this book.

**The Perfect Breakup Text & More In Our Chat With Author Sonya Singh: Sonya Singh.** Photo Credit: Simon & Schuster Canada

HPA: How did you overcome writer’s block?

SS: I didn’t have it with this story. I would say that I had too much to write about. Halfway through, a mic drop moment happens in the book that I didn’t even know was coming! So, there wasn’t really writer’s block for me…. it was more like, “this writer needs to find a block”!

HPA: Were there other challenges that you had to overcome when writing this book?

I think time mostly. [It took me] about 3 to 4 months to write it. I also had to remind myself that the road ahead is all worth it. You don’t wake up one day and give up your PR business, your full-time job/clients to write a book. You do it all, or you try to do it all. I think often times people forget that many other things are going on in a debut author’s life, and writing becomes a full-time job on top of the one you already have. I had to overcome that. I also had to overcome imposter syndrome – which I still struggle with. I think because I have had such success in other aspects of my life, I wonder how is it that I am a writer now. Am I really good enough to be in the class of other debut writers?

HPA: I love the premise of a woman who rediscovers her roots through work. Tell me, was there a point in your life where you also rediscovered or found a deeper connection to your roots

SS: Certainly! Over the last decade, I feel I have rediscovered my roots in a way where I am proud of them. Being a strong Indian woman didn’t come easily for me, and I often hid behind my roots, looking at them more like weeds that were getting in my way. I only started to embrace my culture, heritage, ancestors, and who I am over the last ten years, and it’s not a trend; it is who I am proud to be. I love that I am an Indian woman. When it comes to the strength of our identity, there always is this age-old idea of trying to fit in – the assimilation into western society.

HPA You point out when you talk about the main character Manny not knowing much about her culture due to her parents not introducing her to it. What made you decide to create Manny’s backstory as such?

SS: I think part of it was based on my personal experiences. My parents did a fantastic job providing my sisters and me the best in everything we ever needed or didn’t need, and often. I didn’t grow up going to Punjabi school on Sundays or celebrating Diwali, but it’s not for my parents’ lack of trying — I am sure I also resisted. They did what they could do to help us fit into a small town with a limited number of Indian families, and they celebrated our culture in Western society the best possible way they could.

HPA: People write what they know or derive characters in their books either from themselves or people they know. If that’s the case with Manny, are there any character traits similar to yours

SS: YES! She’s a boss woman. I have always been a serial entrepreneur. It’s the creative in me. My partner would argue I have a relationship with him and my work LOL. I think her drive at work and the exciting friendships she has have played a crucial part in her life just like mine. I also think Manny is a romantic at heart—although breaking people up for a living, she craves those little goosebump moments herself. She also later in life discovers what real love is and it took me quite a while to discover a healthy relationship and true love, but I am glad I did.

HPA: In your bio you note that you can write a great breakup text/email. What three tips can you share?

SS: 1. WRITE IT ASAP. We often let breakup texts/emails linger, but by then, you’ve already succumbed to several tv shows and movies, and now the reality is the breakup becomes more of a story from a plot of a TV show. Write it rightaway.

2. Give closure. Saying things like, “I love you. I want to marry you and have children with you, but it’s over…” gives no closure to the person. You leave a dangling carrot in front of them, and they’re hungry for answers – they’ll keep coming back for them. So don’t leave room for a possible reconciliation when you know that that is not the case.

3. Don’t be vague. “Our values weren’t aligned including XXX” or “I can’t be with someone who eats meat because XXX” or telling someone that “it’s not you, it’s me” again leaves the person with more questions than answers. Let them know why it didn’t work out for you.

HPA: Are you working on your next book or taking a break?

SS: I am working on The Fake Matchmaker. It’s the second in this series and brings back a fan-favourite character from Sari, Not Sari. But I am also writing a movie. I recently took on a role as a screenwriter and am excited to announce that I am working with Crown Media to write the next Hallmark Holiday movie that centres around my experiences from my Indian Heritage. It comes out this Christmas.

HPA: For those looking to become authors, what tips would you give them?

SS: Start writing now. If it’s too intimidating, go back to old journals, letters, emails …. you’ve probably already been a writer this whole time.

You can get a copy of Sari, Not Sari wherever you get your favourite books!

Check out our list of Spring books by Desi authors here!

Main Image Photo Credit: Simon & Schuster Canada

Hina P. Ansari

Author

Hina P. Ansari is a graduate from The University of Western Ontario (London, Ontario). Since then she has carved a successful career in Canada's national fashion-publishing world as the Entertainment/Photo Editor at FLARE Magazine, Canada's national fashion magazine. She was the first South Asian in...

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The Perfect Breakup Text & More In Our Chat With Author Sonya Singh

by Hina P. Ansari

Hina P. Ansari

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