Culture & Lifestyle / Inside the Male Brain when Dating

Inside the Male Brain when Dating

Culture & Lifestyle Oct 01, 2014

A No-Holds Bar Interview With Dating Coach Jonathon Aslay

So ladies, have you ever wondered what goes on inside the mind of a man, while you are out there looking for your life partner? Jonathon Aslay is in the business of helping women transform from attracting Mr. Wrong, to finding their Mr. Right. He is the author of Understand Men Now  and has committed his life to help women become relationship ready.

Jonathon, what are mature men who are looking for a long-term relationship attracted to when it comes to dating women?

Physical attraction is definitely important to a man however, it is simply the starting point.  A man wants a woman that is fun to be with, and is cool. This is the woman that he wants to spend time with. “What makes a woman fun and cool to a man is when she is interesting and is interested.”  Men also want to feel respected and accepted for who they are and therefore don’t want to be with a woman that is pining to change them.  Sharing mutual hobbies also becomes important to the mature man because he is looking for companionship and wants to picture having good times with the woman that he chooses to be with. 

Why do men come on so strong in the beginning and then slow down?

There is a chemical reaction that occurs in men when they are interested in women. It is dopamine, and testosterone, which enhances pleasure and the addictive feeling similar to that of an illicit drug.  Most men don’t realize this reaction and women classify this as the chase that a man feels when he wants to be with one particular woman. The man is simply fired up in the beginning with these chemical reactions that normally wear off once the high is achieved, which usually is the physical aspect of the relationship.  Hence the importance of developing a friendship to ensure a meaningful connection is established before the pursuit of a physical relationship.

What should a woman do if she is dating a man (exclusively) and he is all of sudden distant and pulling away emotionally and physically?

One reason men pull away is when a woman is leaning in too much. The more expectations and emotional weight she puts on him, the more he will pull away.  Key advice, you don’t need to text a man to let him know you are alive. He knows you exist.  Women should not check in with a man more than he checks in with her. Men like women who have self-confidence and solidness in their own individuality when he requires some space.   

How should women approach the dating scene?

It is important to date with intent.  Know why you want a relationship.   Starting with a friendship ensures a meaningful connection is built along with comfortable chemistry.  This ensures longevity if a relationship is pursued.  Remember that “Women fall in love between their ears and men with their pupils”. This little self-awareness ensures you know how you will tend to choose your partner.  My key advice to women is to approach dating as the way to interview men for the job of your boyfriend.  If the man is not interesting or interested in you, have the confidence to just cross him off your list and move on. 

Featured Image: Socialskydivers

Yvonne Sinniah

Yvonne Sinniah


Yvonne Sinniah (@YvonneSinniah) is a Relations Advisor and inspirational speaker focusing on helping individuals achieve success in personal and professional environments.  focusing on helping individuals achieve success in personal and professional environments.  She is on a mission to meet a nee...


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