Culture & Lifestyle / How To Love When You Want To Hate

How To Love When You Want To Hate

Culture & Lifestyle Mar 05, 2014


Most of us have experienced what it feels like to be hurt by someone close. Such an unfortunate incident can cause an individual to get stuck in their emotions, stalling future beautiful experiences life has to offer.

If your surrounded by the wrong personalities that feed the negativity, encouraging you to stay in anger (because remember Misery Loves Company), then even the most loving person can experience feelings of deep hatred. A key question to ask yourself is "what are those negative feelings really telling you about your life and yourself?" 

Here are some constructive ways to deal with and process your emotions so you can successfully work through these circumstances in a healthy way. 

1. Accept That Getting Hurt Is Part Of Life.

Rather than constantly resisting the current state by hating your circumstance or a particular person; modify your thinking to accept your situation or accept people for who they are in the current state. If you can master an attitude that you are not entitled to anything and that things or people can never make you who you are at your core, you will be much less likely to feel hatred and anger when something is taken away from you.

This does not just apply to material things; maybe you recently lost your job, maybe it was your house, or maybe it was a loved one. Whatever the circumstance, accept the fact that all things in life are transient.


2. Know That You’re Only Hurting Yourself.

Hate, like any other negative emotion can take a serious toll on your own well being and mental health. Note that Hate is always the easy way out.

Much like worry, no matter how much time and energy you give to this emotion, it will never make you feel better and it will never change the way things are in reality. Holding onto hate cannot punish the object of your rage; it can only damage yourself.

In order to be truly happy, you need to let go of this toxic emotion. Thoughts beget emotions, so if you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, you will undoubtedly be experiencing negative emotions. And who wants to go through life feeling miserable all the time?

If you want to be happier, be happier.

Surround yourself with positive friends and family and those who want to see you come out of the angry and hateful phase in your life.  Allow yourself to let go of the circumstance and the person that caused the hurt. Whether your hatred is directed towards one person in particular or against the world in general, by consciously choosing to be positive in your approach you are choosing to strive for a life of happiness. 


3.  Recognize That The Opposite Of Love Is Not Hate

If you’re stuck hating someone it means you truly haven’t let go of that person or the situation. In a way it means you still care. And contrary to popular belief, the opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference. If you’re truly over a person, hurtful circumstance, place or thing, you will let them/it go and therefore be indifferent.

Set whatever you’re holding onto free – that’s the only way to heal.

If you continue to carry around the baggage of negative emotions, you are investing your valuable energy into whom or whatever scorned you in the first place – prolonging your own pain. Accept what is and start your journey towards letting go and moving on. If the above blog struck accord,…comment below and let’s get a discussion going

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Yvonne Sinniah

Yvonne Sinniah


Yvonne Sinniah (@YvonneSinniah) is a Relations Advisor and inspirational speaker focusing on helping individuals achieve success in personal and professional environments.  focusing on helping individuals achieve success in personal and professional environments.  She is on a mission to meet a nee...


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