The Mass Narrative of Welcoming a New Baby's Arrival Involves Pink or Blue Balloons; Being a Feminist Gets Difficult When Adding the "Parent" Title to the Mix.
When you become a parent, family, friends, strangers — everyone — becomes a parenting expert. Raising a daughter while maintaining feminist values may interfere with what people see as right. Family members may roll their eyes when you ask them not to buy Disney princess gifts for your daughter. Friends might ask why the baby room will not be painted pink. You can face accusations of placing politics before proper parenting. But the personal is political.
Raising a feminist daughter doesn't at all mean restricting her fun. Forbes contributor Anushay Hossain writes about how she is told by friends and family that she's ruining fun by discouraging princess gifts for her daughter. “As a feminist, I just cannot watch others label my daughter, and subconsciously encourage her to grow up to be a woman who dreams of being saved by a man,” she says. “People will tell me to relax my feminist policing, but I stick up for teaching my daughter that life is about being able to 100% rely on yourself.”
Feminist values don't mean abolishing all things feminine and sticking to masculine aesthetics only. They mean the abolishment of gender scripting all together. Feminist parenting means teaching your daughter that when she picks a toy plane from the dentist’s prize box and the receptionist asks, “Don’t you want a girl’s toy instead?” your daughter can knowingly respond, “There is no such thing as boys' things and girls' things.” A young girl playing princess isn’t the problem; the problem is when playing princess is the only option she is given.
It's odd that, while mass culture is telling our daughters that they're supposed to be girly — and showing them how to perform this way — our culture also discourages female bonding. Growing up female, you're encouraged to compete with other girls. Being “one of the guys” isn’t the exception. It’s the ideal: be the only girl boys are paying attention to.
On the topic of Disney princesses, author Peggy Orenstein points out in her book Cinderella Ate My Daughter that when the princesses are pictured in a group, they're not looking at each other. “There is only one princess in the Disney tales, one girl who gets to be exalted,” she writes. “Princesses may confide in a sympathetic mouse or teacup, but they do not have girlfriends. God forbid Snow White should give Sleeping Beauty a little support. Let's review: princesses avoid female bonding. Their goals are to be saved by a prince, get married, and be taken care of the rest of their lives.”
Again, it's about options. Feminism isn’t about turning our daughters into tom boys. It's about teaching them that being a girl is just as valuable as being a child of any gender. In fact, feminist parenting is about treating our children as people — not as pink and blue balloons.
Feature image by Hillary Di Menna
Hillary Di Menna
Author
Hillary Di Menna is a freelance journalist who manages to publish her scribblings while raising a six-year-old skateboarding ballerina and sharing her home with two snuggly black cats. Her parenting blog, Misfit Matriarch, follow her adventures in parenting. You can find all her work at
COMMENTS
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: I Can't Say No To People Without Feeling Guilty
-
Let’s Talk … About Your Relationship with You!
-
This Is Why Amsterdam In The Winter Is Simply Wonderful
-
Dear Dr. Monica Vermani Being Back In The Office Is Giving Me Anxiety
-
Indian Afternoon Tea At Bobby's In Leicester UK? Yes Please!
-
Dear Dr. Monica Vermani: Help! My Ex Tells His Friends His Cheating Is My Fault
-
Travel The World With Tamarind Modern Indian Bistro's Global Cuisine
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: Winter Depresses Me, What Do I Do?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Parents I Don't Want To Go To Business School?
-
Fabulous Holiday Gifts For Kids
-
Why 'Heroin Chic' Is A Dangerous Trend For South Asians
-
Highlights From The South Asian Literature And Arts Festival (SALA)
-
Ask Dr Monica Vermani: Her 5 Break Up Rules You Should Know
-
Roti Chai Is The Perfect Eatery To Hit Up While Christmas Shopping
-
I Loved Visiting This Quaint Town Of Bath
-
Indian Alley Brings Delhi's Iconic Roadside Eats To Camden Market
-
This Is Why Mauritius Is A Traveller's Dream
-
"Making Happy" By Sheetal Seth Is The Book Kids Need When Their Parent Is Sick
-
International Day Of The Girl: How Women Of The Sundarbans Are Saving Their Girls
-
The Murder Of Mahsa Amini: Will The Global Outcry Make A Difference?
-
South Asian Literature And Art Festival Is Bringing Together The Biggest Names In SA Lit And Here's Why You Need To Go
-
Canada's Most Powerful Women Were Celebrated At The Women Empowerment Awards 2022
-
It's All About The Home Cooked Veg Goodness At London's Ananda Bhavan
-
What Exactly Is A NFT And Why We Need To Stop Ignoring It
-
TIFF 2022: Checking Out The Fabulous Bask-It-Style Gift Lounge
-
Gopal’s Corner Blend Malaysian And Tamil Cuisine Creating An Unforgettable Bite
-
We Celebrate National Wildlife Day With Our 5 Fave Sanctuaries In India
-
Canary Wharf Heats Up Your Palate With Chai Ki
-
Ready To Find Your Match? You'll Need These 4 Desi Dating Apps In Your Life
-
Where Does Hinduism, Islam & Sikhism Stand In The Abortion Issue?
-
Never Forget: 12 Movies & Books To Help You Continue The Partition Conversation
-
From North To South London's Award-Winning Bayleaf Restaurant Elevates Indian Cuisine At Whetstone
-
Here's Why I Fell In Love With The Sea Views Of Southampton and Portsmouth
-
Shree Krishna Vada Pav In London Celebrates India's Iconic Veggie Dishes
-
The Pope’s Apology: A Closer Look At His “Pilgrimage Of Penance"
-
Want To Go To Marrakech? This Is What I Did
-
Virtual Pageants Celebrate Inclusivity & That's Why I Love Them
-
Here's How I Spent 48 Fabulous Hours In Lille, France
-
The Dishes At Central London's Mumbai Square Will Make You Want Seconds
-
4 Hot July 2022 Tech Gadgets That You Need Now!
-
10 South Asian LGBTQIA+ Leaders Who Are Using Their Platform To Break Barriers
-
Ganapati Peckham Brings South Indian Flavours To South London
-
Sanaa: This African/Indian Restaurant Is Disney's Best Kept Secret In Orlando
-
Travel: How I Got The Most Of My Weekend In Marbella, Spain
-
Pride Month 2022: This Glossary Will Teach You All The LGBTQIA+ Terms You Need To Know In 2022
-
Platinum Jubilee: How Relevant Is The Queen To South Asians?
-
Pride Month 2022: A List Of 20 Global Resources To Help You Support Your Journey With Your LGBTQIA+ Loved Ones
-
How To Let Go Of The Past And Create The Life You Want
-
Dhamaka In New York City Lets You Explore Cuisine "From The Forgotten Side Of India"
-
Madras Chettinaad Brings The Flavours Of Tamil Nadu To Atlanta, Georgia
-
3 Must Know Signs That A Problem Exists & How To Conquer Them
-
The 4 Hottest May 2022 Tech Gadgets You Need Now
-
South Asian Heritage Month 2022: From LGBTQIA+ Rights To Senior Dating, How Our Culture Is Becoming More Inclusive
-
How To Avoid Turning Your Words Into Weapons When It Comes To Mental Health
-
Looking For A Mindful Coach? Here's How To Spot The Fakers
-
Travel: How To Get The Most From Your Weekend In Budapest
