Lifestyle / How To Date Online Successfully

How To Date Online Successfully

Lifestyle May 24, 2015

by Yvonne Sinniah

Dating — the Online Way

To our followers who are single and dating, this blog post is for you. Online dating has grown exponentially in the last 20 years, and many stigmas have broken as people open up their options to make new connections. Joan Barrett, who authored the male- and female-friendly book Candyland S.I.N.S.: (Singles INternet-dating Services) shared some key insights during an interview with me on internet dating and how best to prepare yourself while you look for a long-term partner. As well as working as a matchmaker and dating coach, Jasbina Ahluwalia founded dating and support firm Intersections Match for Indian singles. She also shared her expertise in this area, as she coaches people to help them meet ideal partners. Both ladies provided some real and practical perspectives that can set you up for success in the online dating world. So, if you're thinking about starting the online dating process, here are a few tips to consider.

1. Get over your fear of being judged

Yes, people in your life may have opinions about online dating, and you will simply have to ignore the negative commentary. You may be concerned that people will think you're desperate, but it truly is about taking positive steps out of your comfort zone to find the right fit for you. And that is all online dating offers you: more options to meet new people. Also, family members who show concern are primarily afraid of the unknown and want to ensure your safety. Joan spends time in her book describing "Scammers, Catfish and Players" in the online dating pool. These are people who get a thrill from deceiving someone for financial or emotional gain. There are, however, red flags and precautionary steps that Joan provides that will help alleviate this concern. Regardless of these individuals, note that “online dating is a microcosm of society,” as Joan states. You're bound to find scammers and catfish in real life as well. You must be smart about dating in general, and online dating is no different.

2. Manage your online dating expectations

According to Jasbina, it’s likely that out of every 10 people you email, only one will turn into a date. So remember: “It’s Not You.” Jasbina recommends that you send out emails and forget about it. Another "one in 10" rule is that only about one out of 10 first dates will turn into a second date. So don’t get discouraged by poor outcomes. It's important to remember that you won’t be an ideal match for everyone. Keep your expectations realistic to avoid feeling demoralized.

3. Your positive attitude can be a game-changer

Remain positive about your own life and your approach to dating. This is something I've noticed with people during their dating phase: their perspectives about the process and themselves drastically affect the energy they put out there. And if you're feeling negative about the process, then this will affect how you date. Everyone goes through a slump, so take a break and recalibrate. Remember: good intentions lead to good outcomes. A positive attitude reflects in your profile, initial messages and face-to-face dates. It will allow for the right person to approach you.

4. Take the time to present your best self authentically

Your profile is a résumé for other online daters to see. You want to put your best self and real self out there so that a potential match sees you as a fit for their own lives. You can read the tips provided by Joan in her book and Jasbina in her free online guide and go from there. Ensure that your pictures are clear for others to see — even if you're self-conscious. Your future partner will find out about the real you regardless, so it's important that you represent yourself as clearly and attractively as possible. Many singles these days hire professionals to help them with their profiles, which is also highly recommended if you don’t have the time to invest in online dating.

Remember that online dating is another way to meet new people — “meet” being the key word here. A quick interaction online should lead to a face-to-face meeting so that you can really gauge whether this person aligns with your vision for the future. And finally, have fun during this time. This is the best way to ensure that you come out on top while dating.

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Yvonne Sinniah

Author

Yvonne Sinniah (@YvonneSinniah) is a Relations Advisor and inspirational speaker focusing on helping individuals achieve success in personal and professional environments. focusing on helping individuals achieve success in personal and professional environments. She is on a mission to meet a nee...

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