Lifestyle / This Might Get Heated: The Ultimate Chai Ranking No One Asked For

This Might Get Heated: The Ultimate Chai Ranking No One Asked For

Lifestyle May 21, 2025

by Kiran R. Khan | Features Editor - Lifestyle

If there’s one thing South Asians take more seriously than shaadi season and WhatsApp conspiracy theories, it’s chai. Think your family has strong opinions? Try telling your dadi you prefer Kashmiri chai over her five-generation-old masala chai recipe.

Chai isn’t just a beverage – it’s a love language, a daily ritual, and in some cases, an entire personality. With every region having its signature sip and every household swearing theirs is the best, it’s time we settle this with some light-hearted ranking (and possibly some group chat drama).

Let the chai-off begin!

Doodh Pati – The Comfort Blanket

No water, no drama. Just tea leaves slow-boiled in milk until it turns the perfect caramel colour that could make or break your whole mood. This is the hoodie-and-sweatpants of the chai world – simple, loyal, and somehow always exactly what you need. It forgives your 6 alarms and accepts you in all your chaotic glory.

Best for early mornings, emotional support, and declaring “THIS is real chai” at least twice a week.

Score: 9/10 – Loses one point only because some people will still say “but where’s the masala?”

Masala Chai – The Undisputed Queen

The OG. The family favourite. The one that makes the whole house smell like you’re about to host a fancy tea party – but in pyjamas. Spiced with cardamom, cloves, ginger, and maybe a top-secret ingredient your mom refuses to reveal, this chai is practically therapy in a cup.

Best for cold mornings, deep chats, and pretending your kitchen is a Bollywood set.

Score: 9/10 – Only docked to avoid family feuds over whose masala mix is better.

Karak Chai – The Intense On

If chai had a gym membership and a brooding playlist, it’d be karak. Rich, thick, and dramatically bold, this is the one that slaps you awake like an auntie asking about your shaadi plans. With evaporated milk and a no-nonsense attitude, it’s a desert café staple for a reason.

Best for long drives, in-law impressing, and existential dread

Score: 8.5/10 – Like that brutally honest friend who somehow makes you feel better and worse at the same time.

This Might Get Heated: The Ultimate Chai Ranking No One Asked For. Image Credit: JulijaDmitrijeva from Getty Images

Kashmiri Chai – The Fancy Influencer

Pink, pretty, and a bit of a diva. Also known as noon chai, it’s salty, nutty, and Instagram-ready. Made with green tea, baking soda (yes, really), and topped with crushed nuts, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s definitely the one everyone wants to be seen with.

Best for weddings, brunches, and pretending your life is curated.

Score: 8/10 – Loses points for being extra. Delicious, but not when you’re in a rush.

Cutting Chai – The Street-Style Icon

Small glass. Big vibes. It’s masala chai’s edgy cousin: always moving, always strong, and never shy to spill the tea (figuratively and literally).

Best for office breaks, hangouts, and people who run on vibes and caffeine.

Score: 8/10 – One glass is never enough. Respect the hustle, though.

Sulaimani Chai – The Deep Thinker

No milk, no nonsense. Just black tea with lemon, sugar, and maybe a dash of mint. It’s light, elegant, and the kind of thing you sip while gazing into the distance like you’re in an Urdu ghazal. Cleanses your palate and your soul.

Best for post-dinner resets, deep thoughts, and pretending you read poetry.

Score: 7/10 – Sophisticated, but let’s be honest, sometimes you just need that dairy-based comfort.

Look, I get it, asking a Desi to choose one chai is like asking your mum to pick a favourite child (she has one, but she’ll never admit it). Every cup has its moment. Every version has its fanbase.

But if you really twist my arm? Doodh pati wins for comfort. Masala chai wins for drama. And the real MVP is whichever cup someone made just for you.

Agree? Disagree? Ready to throw your chai strainer at me? Sound off in the comments, I’ll bring the tea.

This Might Get Heated: The Ultimate Chai Ranking No One Asked For. Image Credit: Mike Jones.

Kiran R. Khan | Features Editor - Lifestyle

Author

Kiran R. Khan (@kiranrkhanandco) is a journalism graduate from Sheridan College, possesses an extensive freelance portfolio encompassing various topics, including lifestyle posts and profile stories. Kiran loves to craft engaging content that resonates with readers, aiming to leave a lasting impress...

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