What Pisses Me Off! People Who Look Down On Renting

We come from a culture where buying real estate in the form of your first home is expected at some point in life. However not everyone’s circumstances allow it and to be honest whether I’m renting or own my home, it shouldn’t be up for debate. 

What Pisses Me Off! People Who Look Down On Renting

Why don’t you own a home? Why do you waste your money on rent? Why don’t you settle down and buy a place already? My answer to all three questions is the same; why don’t you mind your own business?

First off, the cost of owning a home continues to climb in most places around the world, especially in large cities so it’s not always attainable for everyone. However, this piece isn’t about the skyrocketing price of the real estate markets and/or affordability, it’s about the assumption that everyone should want to buy a place. It’s about the looks of judgement, pity, the blank stares, the ever-so-common sideways head-tilt that arise when some home owners talk to renters. What pisses me off, is when home buyers think they are superior and/or smarter then renters.

Owning a home is an achievement but it’s one of many achievements that can be accomplished over a lifetime. We need to collectively evolve to creating a culture where self worth is not associated with net worth. We constantly put pressure on ourselves to pass through life on a certain trajectory (education, marriage, home purchase, kids, bigger home purchase, etc.). The reality is, that trajectory doesn’t work for everyone and/or isn’t desired by everyone anymore.

There’s still judgement on people who prioritize different life experiences; those of us who don’t rush to purchase a home and consciously chose to rent, are often described as “living outside the box.” I’m here to encourage everyone to open their mind to the idea that there is no box.

At 29, (still considered a bit of an ancient age to be unwed by South Asian standards, but that’s a whole other rant), I was deciding whether to purchase my first home (a condo in the city of Toronto) or move to London, (England) for a change. My career was booming but as much as I enjoyed it, it was so fast-paced and stressful, I knew it was aging me.

Socially, at the time, I was very active; I had a great friends circle (and fortunately still do), but even at fun parties and coveted events, something was missing. I was full of gratitude for my life but increasingly aware I was beginning to navigate through it on auto-pilot. I felt like I should want to “settle” down, use my savings to buy a place and be “responsible,” but something was pulling me in a different direction. My mind was pushing me to follow the “normal” path, to “get in the box” but my soul didn’t want to.

I decided to ignore the advice of many people, took my savings and trusted my instincts instead. The move remains one of the best decisions I’ve made; I worked as a school teacher in London, traveled throughout Europe on the weekends and developed a level of comfort being alone that I would not have imagined I was capable of (much to my surprise, I managed to do it all without really making a dent in my savings anyway).

Two years later, I returned to Canada (the move was always meant to be temporary), yet despite being proud of everything I had accomplished, when running into people upon my return, I was still given sideways glances and looks of pity when asked what the status of my home-ownership was. Instead of asking me about all the fulfilling experiences I had, a lot of people gave me unsolicited advice “don’t worry, don’t feel bad, it takes longer for some people to save, you’ll be able to own a home eventually.” I realized it didn’t occur to most people that I wasn’t worried, and I didn’t feel bad – I felt great. Maybe I didn’t take the “responsible” steps of buying a home, but I believe the biggest responsibility we have is to trust our intuition and live the life we want.

People still find it hard to believe that I don’t want to own a huge, “perfect” house in the suburbs. I don’t judge people who live that white-picket fence life, and I wish there would be less judgement towards those of us who don’t. Let’s stop assuming we all want the same life experiences at the same ages. There’s no time-frame we need to do things by; follow your own pace and create your own rules. The race to home ownership can be a marathon, it doesn’t have to be a sprint.

Is real estate a good investment? Absolutely, I’m not denying that, but I hope to remind and/or inspire others to remember it’s not the only way to invest. Don’t cave to the pressures of societal and/or cultural norms, do what makes sense for you with your savings and/or earnings. Renters can live just as fulfilling lives as home-owners; my primary investment has always been (and I hope always will be) in the spiritual development of myself. If you want to buy a place, do it, but if you prefer to use your savings for travel, to continue your education, to share with your loved ones, purchase stocks, pay off any school debts and/or start your own business, do that instead; you know what’s best for you.

To all the people out there who snub or look down their noses at renters, I invite you to consider opening your minds to the idea that success comes in many forms. I hope you’ll remember wealth goes beyond material things and even in the material world, it can be generated in a variety of ways. I also invite you to question your assumptions; Do you think all renters rent because they can’t afford to buy? Are you making assumptions about people based on their homeowner status?  If the way someone is living causes no harm to you or others, why do you even have an opinion on it? Is it possible you’re passing judgement because you fear that if you accept “there is no box,” you may notice you feel trapped in one you’ve created around your own life?

To all the renters out there tired of the sideways glances and looks of pity, I feel you, I see you and I encourage you to keep your head high and do whatever your heart desires with your money.

Main Image Photo Credit: Morning Brew/Unsplash (coin house), Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels (woman), Jay Haych/Unsplash (keys), Annie Spratt/Unsplash (money)