Showbiz / The Harry & Meghan Drama: What Would Happen If They Were Desi?

The Harry & Meghan Drama: What Would Happen If They Were Desi?

Showbiz Jan 27, 2023

by Jessica R. Gera

The Duke & Duchess of Sussex have been grabbing headlines for what seems like forever in a desire to “control the narrative”. First they sat down with Oprah last year. Last fall they released their record-breaking Netflix documentary “Harry & Meghan and finally Harry deciding to continue the conversation with his biggest non-fiction release of Spare earlier this year. But all of this begs the question, how would all this airing of dirty laundry fare if they were Desi? Yes, we had to ask and we went there, because of course we did!

I really mean it when I say I have nothing against Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. I mean, to each their own, right? If they want out of the Royal Fmily, so be it. Why all the fuss? So, I go ahead and do what I said I’d never do. I watch their six-part documentary series on Netflix, and take it all in. And then I wait for ‘it’ to happen; the part where I am overcome with shock by all the drama they endured. The part where I am horrified by how low their family members would stoop to purposely cause chaos and controversy. But that never happened. Maybe that’s because I’ve watched one too many Bollywood flicks or one too many dramatic Hindi serials? Let’s face it, Prince Harry and Meghan are certainly not the first couple in the world to have family drama. Which makes me think, what if this drama unfolded in a South Asian royal family? What would that look like?

Let’s dig deeper. Because I know you want us to!

Meet Prince Harinder and Princess Megna of Ludhiana.

I am certain that no one in the Royal Family (especially the elders) were doing cartwheels when Prince Harry announced he would be marrying a divorced, bi-racial woman. Nonetheless, they did get married. One would wonder how Prince Harinder of Ludhiana and Princess Megna got married in the first place! Prince Harinder, the youngest of two boys, in this Indian royal family, chose a divorced woman who comes from a different (and perceived as inferior) caste as his wife. Would the marriage even happen?

You see, if Prince Harinder and Princess Megna decided to leave their Desi throne as a result of how badly they were treated by their family, no one would be throwing $100 million USD their way to hear their story on Netflix. In fact, the only thing that would be thrown at them would be rocks and chappals from irate locals appalled at the new royal couple’s decision to leave their parents.

The Harry & Meghan Drama: What Would Happen If They Were Desi? — **The Harry & Meghan Drama: What Would Happen If They Were Desi: Harry and Meghan got comfortable with their $100 million dollar deal with Netflix.** Photo Credit: www.netflix.com

And those stones and chappals would keep coming. Not only because of the audacity of parent abandonment, but because Prince Harinder is the youngest of two boys. I mean, it would be one thing if the eldest brother (let’s call him Prince Wahib) made that decision. After all, he is the oldest. Because as Indian serials dictate, that the oldest son can getaway with this stunt (along with a whole host of other things), but the youngest? I mean the nerve!

And as Harinder and Megna tell their story to everyone who would listen, their family feels utter shame in watching them air their ‘dirty laundry’ to the public. Telling your friends is one thing. But never … I mean NEVER … speak about your internal family affairs to the aunties and uncles of the world. Why? Cue the rapid fire text alerts … in real time.

Picture this …

Aunties across all of South Asia, America and in between are salivating as they feast on this hot gossip. They take to Facebook and Instagram to share posts of every opinion they have of Harinder and Megna. WhatsApp chats are blowing up as these aunties are bursting at the seams to organize their next Kitty Party; a fabulous opportunity to get down and dirty to dissect the minutiae of the royal’s inner most secrets while they stuff their faces with Jalebi and various namkeens.

But of course! This is the hottest tea since Amitabh and Rekha’s affair.

All over the globe, headlines of Harry and Meghan dominated every piece of social media; and all the writeups were either knocking them for their exit from the Royal Family or praising their courage in doing so.

But it’s a different vibe here in Ludhiana. Let’s not forget, Prince Harinder’s mom is the Queen of Ludhiana. Let’s call her Queen Ekta. Here, “Breaking News” across TV, digital and print and and most importantly Google Alerts are buzzing out of concern for the Queen. It would go something like this, “It is heartbreaking to announce that beloved Queen Ekta is suffering from intense BP, after her son and his evil wife abandoned her!” Loyal watchers and Indian Monarchists across Ludhiana clutch their chests and dupattas as they pray for the Queen’s blood pressure to go down. Let’s not forget the health crisis is all due to Harinder and Megna. Full stop.

The Indian Royals continue to hang their head in shame as they worry about their ‘Izzat’ (honour) in the community. Kitty Party supremacists can’t believe their luck. They’ve been given the opportunity to poke fun at the Queen’s misfortune while simultaneously wishing her well on Facebook. After all, Kitty Parties promote nothing more than genuine concern and compassion. Right?

Karan Johar has now entered the chat. Wide-eyed and eager to resurrect his career, he plans the next Bollywood blockbuster hit that would make Kuch Kuch Hota Hai look like a B-grade student film. Yes, of course, Shah Rukh Khan plays the lead role obviously as everybody loves Rahul.

But it sure ain’t a Netflix deal. Let’s be real.

While Harry and Meghan were given love and support from billionaire Tyler Perry as the documentary revealed, Harinder and Megna don’t have anywhere to go. They have been shunned by the community and their private jet-loving social circle. Sure SRK, Aamir and Salmaan show their concern in front of the cameras, but they sure aren’t knocking on young royals’ door offering them financial and emotional support.

It all becomes too much for Harinder and Megna.

After much resistance they finally bend to the familial pressure. Even though it’s led by his elder brother and his wife, Princess Kangana, the facts are that there’s no guilt like Desi mom guilt! Harinder and Megna return to the palace immediately with their heads bowed heavily thanks to the solid weight of shame.

They have to. Their Royal Izzat depends on it.

Meanwhile, the senior ladies at the palace in Ludhiana have ordered Megna to complete a 17.2 day fast where she must drink water, eat fruits and vegetables only, and ask for forgiveness from the moon at exactly 12:24 a.m. This would of course be followed by a Puja to ‘cleanse’ Megna of her ‘sins.’

And there you have it; a deep-dive into the Royal Family of India, and their trials and tribulations. I feel for them, all of them, Prince Harry/Harinder, and Meghan/Megna.

Harry and Meghan are stuck with $100 million USD (plus the $17 million deal USD with Spotify) and will now have to spend their time counting their profits from Prince Harry’s book, Spare which has become the biggest selling memoir of all time. Clearly they have a rough road ahead of them.

Meanwhile Prince Harinder and Megna have returned to the palace where yes the grand jewels and the family money is back in their fold. And yes, they resume feasting on 5-star chef-curated culinary delicacies. And finally yes, they continue to dress in the finest of silks made for them.

But will they be able to outlive the shame?

Most importantly, when it comes to the real Harry/Meghan or the fake Harinder/Megna, we can return our attention back to real life and real problems.

My wish is we can come together as a community and remember the little things. You know, the small things like fighting climate change, helping the homeless, and just being an all around good person.

I pray to the moon for this everyday.

Main Image Photo Credit: www.netflix.com

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The Harry & Meghan Drama: What Would Happen If They Were Desi?

by Jessica R. Gera

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