Lifestyle / 4 Key Rules To Avoid Relationship Roadblocks

4 Key Rules To Avoid Relationship Roadblocks

Lifestyle Aug 30, 2017

by Rachna Sethi

Relationships can be rocky. Read our four key rules to avoid relationship roadblocks for a smoother ride.

In a perfect world, relationships can be navigated at a steady, easy pace. In the real world, relationships can be a rocky road and potholes can never be fully avoided. But there are ways to help ensure they remain at a minimal.

Wondering how to reduce your relationship rage?

Read on for tips to keep you and your partner moving in a positive direction.

Don’t make assumptions.

“When you ASSUME you make an ASS out of U and ME.” This Jerry Belson quote makes a big impact.

As explained by Don Miguel Ruiz in his best-selling book, The Four Agreements (translated in 38 languages), we have to prioritize clear communication.

To often we forget everyone has their own perspective and assume they think like we do. We carry that into our relationships by assuming people will show love the same way we do. We expect things without explaining them. The people in our lives are not psychics. Be clear with your needs and be open to your partner sharing theirs. When you are upset, do you have the bad habit of saying “nothing” when asked if something is wrong? Understand by pretending, you’re only adding more bumps into your relationship road. If you can’t be your honest self in a relationship, you’ll eventually reach a dead end.

**4 Key Rules To Avoid Relationship Roadblocks: Slow down before you crash and burn.** Photo Credit: www.aprilkirkwood.com

2. Text less, talk more.

As demonstrated by Albert Mehrabian’s research, nonverbal communication makes more of an impact than spoken words (tone of voice accounts for 38 per cent, body language for 55 per cent while literal words came in at 7 per cent).

Taking that into account, texts, WhatsApp and other messaging applications are great for exchanging quick information however they shouldn’t become the primary source of communication. Sharing important or sensitive news through messaging, not only leads to a loss in human connection but with so much being nonverbal, it creates more space for misunderstandings. It would be unrealistic to stop using messaging, just be more mindful of ensuring it doesn’t become the sole or primary source of communication. Don’t be shy to pick up the phone and call. Your loved ones will love hearing your voice.

3. Quality over quantity.

If you can’t be there, there’s no point in being there. One of the ways we set ourselves up for failure (in many aspects of life) is by taking on too much. Life gets busy. If you have a lot on your plate, instead of seeing someone every day without being fully present (which they can feel, for example, if you’re at dinner but constantly checking your work phone) save your relationship some frustration by scheduling a set date night with a no phone/no distractions commitment. Hanging out should be something to look forward to, not another task on a to-do list. Don’t stress about the quantity of time you spend, instead prioritize making it quality time; sometimes less is more.

4. Keep calm to cruise on.

You can meditate every day and read every relationship book out there but no matter how socially emotionally intelligent you are, you cannot overcome the natural human emotions of anger and hurt. What you can do is train your mind to become aware when you start to feel frustrated and love yourself enough to step back from the situation.

Differences of opinion don’t need to lead to disagreements. Unfortunately when we are hurt, emotion can replace our logic and things we say in the heat of the moment can lead to regrets. Recognize that resolutions likely won’t come in state of anger so before a small bump turns into a full-on collision, remove yourself.

Not sure what to do? Step outside, hit the gym, listen to music or phone a trusted friend; whatever activity brings you peace. If your partner is getting heated, ensure you give them the opportunity to cool off as well. A relationship should challenge you to grow while being a supportive space. Be mindful of your partner’s temperament and what their triggers are; help each other stay calm. Remember drama does not equal passion.

Main Image Photo Credit: www.justdatinggroup.com

Rachna Sethi

Author

Rachna (@thesassyspiritual) is a graduate of the Applied Mindfulness Meditation program from the University of Toronto, a certified Educator with two bachelor degrees and a diploma in Art Therapy. She's dedicated to living with a compassionate approach. Committed to helping people integrate Mindfuln...

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4 Key Rules To Avoid Relationship Roadblocks

by Rachna Sethi

Rachna Sethi

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